Sunday, January 20, 2013

Fifty Shades of Terrible

Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)Synopsis:
 
"When literature student Anastasia Steele goes to interview young entrepreneur Christian Grey, she encounters a man who is beautiful, brilliant, and intimidating. The unworldly, innocent Ana is startled to realize she wants this man and, despite his enigmatic reserve, finds she is desperate to get close to him. Unable to resist Ana’s quiet beauty, wit, and independent spirit, Grey admits he wants her, too—but on his own terms.

Shocked yet thrilled by Grey’s singular erotic tastes, Ana hesitates. For all the trappings of success—his multinational businesses, his vast wealth, his loving family—Grey is a man tormented by demons and consumed by the need to control. When the couple embarks on a daring, passionately physical affair, Ana discovers Christian Grey’s secrets and explores her own dark desires.

Erotic, amusing, and deeply moving, the Fifty Shades Trilogy is a tale that will obsess you, possess you, and stay with you forever.

This book is intended for mature audiences."  Synopsis from Goodreads.com


My Review:

I hated this book so much.  I'd like to reiterate a few things from my Goodreads Review:

1) I knew this book was labeled "ladies porn" and/or "mommy porn".
2) I did NOT know this book was fan fiction.
3) I did NOT know this book was Twilight fan fiction.
4) I don't know why I did not know these things.
5) I wish I had known 2-3.

I hated the Twilight series - there is no worse character in literature than Bella Swan.  So, to base a fan fiction on that series is just.....despicable to me.

The writing is terrible and the sex is boring.  Yes, this bondage-sex is BORING.  It should be dangerous, and leave you feeling a bit weak-kneed and unsure if you were really supposed to enjoy that, because you did.  This book did not deliver.  It is AWFUL!  If it were possible, I'd give it -5 stars.

Do not purchase this book, do not read this book, do not even think about this book.

Also, there will be a book burning in my parking lot next week, so come join me.  Normally I'd never burn a book, but this deserves it.

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